I finally figured out what God has been trying to teach me these last couple months . Sometimes I'm a slow learner. 

The last week of the NorCal blitz was really hard for me. It started on Sunday when I purposed in my heart to pray between every door. I prayed so hard that day, in front of nearly every door, while running in between doors, and even while talking to people. The whole day I only got 2 books out. For those of you who don't know, thats really bad! Still I wasn't discouraged. I was a little confused, but I had remained faithful till the last door and I was proud of that. The next day, I went out again and continued praying, expecting God to richly bless my faithful efforts. I got out a couple more books, but not nearly what I thought I should be getting or had been praying for. The rest of the week went in a similar fashion, till the last day I tried to pray, but thought, whats the point, nothing happened when I prayed this week. It was a very bitter ending to the blitz.

Now I'm doing a leadership practicum where we have different books and do a different door approach, which is hard to get used to after magabooking for so long. We'd been canvassing for three days and I still hadn't gotten a single book out yet. The morning of the fourth day, Anthony gave us a worship talk about patience. He showed how us how it means “cheerful endurance,” and how in the last days, those who will overcome and be saved through the time of trouble are those who cheerfully endure.

As I was thinking about that all that day, I suddenly thought of my experience in NorCal, and then about the Great Disappointment. God whispered to me, “After only a couple days of not seeing your prayers directly answered in the way you thought they should be, you got discouraged. Think of what the pioneers went through expecting and hoping me to come for not days, but months, and then being let down.” I then realized two things. One, that if I had gone through the Great Disappointment, I might have been one of the ones shaken out, and two, that if my faith and patience aren't strengthened, in the last days I will be shaken out. That was a very sobering thought. Oh Lord, have mercy! Praise God for showing us these things now! So I stopped right there and prayed “Jesus, even if I don't get a single book out this whole practicum, help me to be faithful to the very very end, not just the end of one day. Teach me patience and cheerful endurance. Lord, whatever it takes to refine my character, but please help me to learn fast so that I'm not hindering other people from getting the message through these books.”

Within an hour, my first book went out. Man of Peace =D

God is so faithful!