My Friend

She always calls me “little Laressa.”

When I walk into the room her face brightens, eyes sparkling as she reaches her wrinkled hand to clasp my smooth one. “How's my baby boo?” she asks with a wide smile. “It is alright that I call you that, isn't it?” she checks every once in awhile. As we converse about the highs and lows of the day, our hands remained clasped, a physical emblem of the emotional connection being forged. 

Our focus then turns to the TV, usually politics, sometimes a crime show. About the time I think she ought to be going to bed, I go in and prepare the bedroom for her arrival. She is a particular lady, and likes things to be just so. Her alarm clock is set for 8:00 AM, the covers pulled back neatly, the pillows positioned just right, two glasses of ice water on her bedside table, a box of kleenex, her night cap, and glasses case placed where she can reach them on the bed, and heaven help if the thermostat is not set at 71* F. 

Sometimes much later in the evening than I would like or recommend, she decides to retire. As we get her out of her clothes, apply her special lotion, and help her into her pajamas, we carry on in light-hearted conversation about how my orchestra practice went, or how her dear friend from Virginia sent her a nice card, and wasn't that lovely of her? 

Certain days as I work the lotion into the more intimate crevasses of her drooping figure, she starts to cry. “I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry you have to do this.” I give her what I hope comes across as an understanding smile, and assure her that it is no problem at all, and I don't mind in the least. It is true. What is a body anyways? 

Sometimes I look at my own legs, in the spring of their youth and imagine how hers once looked like mine (granted with less scrapes and bruises, since I'm sure she was far more lady-like). I notice her hands, covered in age marks and wrinkles, unable to button a shirt with ease, and imagine that, lest Jesus come, in the 70 or so short years it will take to get from my age to hers, my hands will look more and more like that. 

She was once like me, and I will someday be like her. We are the same. 

On this particular day, as we waited for the lotion to dry. I asked her what her favorite love song was. She named an oldie-but-goodie, and I looked it up on my Spotify premium. You should have seen the goofy smile that came across her face as she heard that lovely, familiar tune again! Her voice, cracking, off tune, and so precious, fell like a lullaby on my heart. 

There we were, old and young, sitting in the bathroom in our pajamas, singing together, Let Me Call You Sweetheart.

My first two weeks of leading are done. I really wanted to stop and take time to write down everything as it came, but I really don't hardly have time to breath. My only free time is before 7:30 and whatever time I may have during training when its not my turn to train. The list of responsibilities are as follows:

- Kitchen Head (Planning the menu, shopping, and making the food every day.)
- Leading a van (looking at a map, figure out where I'm going to put the students, training the students at the doors, encouraging and motivating the students, driving anywhere we go on weekends)
- Song Service (Playing the guitar every day, picking songs, asking students to help, initiating testimony sharing)
- Worships (Once  a week giving a 20-35 minute bible-based worship talk, and once a week initiating a small group discussion.)
- Mentoring students (Just creating good atmosphere, getting to know each and every student, always being positive.)

So that has kept me on my toes. Its a whole new adventure to be a leader and I love it. I'm just glad this is my weekend off because I was getting exhausted.

The pre-treat was in a beautiful cabin up in the Cascades. All the leaders from Idaho, UCC, Washington, and Oregon came together, did a little training, praying, and some relaxing to prepare us for the summer. Leadership really started in my mind when John asked me to drive the rental car back because he needed to make some calls. I drove the leadership team around all weekend.

Sunday came, the students were arriving, and I was supposed to make popcorn and smoothies. As simple as that is, I really was unexperienced at such a task. I ruined one batch of smoothie completely because I accidentally left a plastic spoon in the Vitamix when I turned it on.... whoops :) I was fishing bits of white plastic out, trying to salvage the poor smoothie. I eventually threw that away. Then on to the popcorn. I was tired of messing up with the smoothie, but at least I knew how to make popcorn... wait, where's the popcorn maker? I ended up having to use a pan, and guess my way through making it over a glass stove. I think I scratched the stove before I realized I was supposed to pick the pan up and shake it. Anyways, the students eventually got fed that night.

My first day out in the field leading went okay. I had 5 students: 4 repeaters and 1 newbie. It was lots of fun. We got out almost 30 books in 2.5 hours. Thats an incredible day! The days after that got a little bit harder, including the first day John came to work with me. I was a little nervous, and got into a situation where I had to back up quickly... ended up backing into a pole. Yeah, the van's a little dented, and I'll have to pay for that. :~|

Then came the weekend. Shopping was a lot more fun the 2nd week because a student was helping me, so it took half the time and I got to get to know her a little bit better :) We played some games in the park including Mafia, and crazy game where we were all given a number 1-18, were blindfolded and had to all somehow get in order of 1-18 without talking.

Sabbath we all loaded up into the vans and headed up to Mount Rainer to spend a wonderful relaxing Sabbath in nature. I hop into my van and look back to see who decided to ride with me. Six guys had all crammed into my van, while the other vans were still mostly empty. They named it the Theo-Mobile because all except one were or are going to be theology majors. They said I can be an honorary theology major because I make good theology jokes and quote original languages sometimes :) I'm honored. We had a nice time up at Rainer. For once it wasn't rainy-er. (pun intended) We had a beautiful view of the mountain and went on a nice little hike that was quite steep and gave us a nice view of St. Hellens and Adams. I'm suuuuuper out of shape after being in Arizona and California for so long. :~P

I'm so glad to be here, though. So very, very happy. At every stage of this path God is taking me on, whether relaxing on a Californian beach with friends or sloshing through the rain delivering books, tired, stressed, and ready to cry, I love this journey. God knew exactly where I'd be the happiest. I love the simple sweet moments of life, and I also LOVE the moments where God pushes me out of my comfort zone. Its uncomfortable, but I know I'm growing. Sometimes I feel so inadequate to be a leader. God doesn't ask us to be perfect right now, He just asks us to keep growing, to focus on Him and follow His leading. There's a sweet, sweet, peace knowing that you are exactly where God wants you to be.

For Who Are Your Feet Tired?

My feet were sore
Hour after hour,
Store after store,
Sorting through shoes
Trying on clothes

I'm tired, we should go.
But no, there's always one more store
Maybe this one will have what I'm looking for,
"Shop till you drop", the saying goes.

Back to the car
I drag my tired feet
Arms loaded with bags
But my wallet empty

At least now I have
All these new things to brag
Or at least catch the eye
Of that certain guy
But I feel so empty inside

I know this is cliche, but
What is the meaning of life anyways?
You only live once, so have fun, they say.
Well I'm trying, okay?

I know there's more
But I'm a good Christian girl
I go to church each week
And pray most every day
What more could He want?

And that is how my life went
Filling my time with so many things
So I don't even have to think
Or remember my emptiness

Till one day God opened my eyes and I could see
That my whole life, I'd been living for me.
Sure I'd do a service project here and there
Feed the homeless,
Give a dollar
But even then, it was still just another activity
To fill the awful void in me

Then God took my hand
Led me away from the frivolous band
Showed me a life of service and self-denial

Now me feet are sore
Hour after hour
Door after door
Praying with people
Leaving them books

I'm tired, but I don't want to go
Have mercy, Lord, look at all these souls!
Just one more door
Maybe I have what this person
Has been searching for

Tired feet though I may have,
Still I run happily back to the van
What a day, I said, What A DAY!
I love this work, always.

So what is the meaning of life, you may say?
Well I've found my place to stay.
I've found my joy in service
I know you can too.
Door-to-door isn't the only work to do
You just need to find God's special work for you.

Sabbath is usually a blessing. This last Sabbath was extra special though.
A couple days, while going door to door, my friend Shekinah met an old couple. The husband Dan was 93, his wife Eleanor, 90. They had been married for 72 years. This couple invited Shekinah in and she was showing them the books we have when she saw an Adventist book on the shelf. It turns out that Eleanor used to be Adventist, but fell in love with and married a non-Adventist man. She is the only one on her family thats not Adventist anymore. Now that they are older, they don't get to get out of the house too much. Shekinah invited them to church that weekend and offered to drive them. They both got excited. Eleanor decided to wear her best dress, and Dan said he was going to iron his best shirt. Dan made sure to tell Shekinah though, that this definitely does not mean he would ever become Adventist. When they got to church, I was able to meet them. Everyone was super nice to them, the pastor even made them stand up and everyone clapped for this couple that had been married 72 years. They stayed for potluck. Afterwards, our whole group circled them and started singing Eleanor's favorite songs from the hymnal. Songs she probably hadn't heard in who-knows-how-long. Then she took out a paper and started singing to us!! It was a really cute rendition of Jesus Loves Me. There were several girls in tears as we closed that session by praying for them. I wonder how long it has been since those two have had people love them like that. I know Dan said he would never be Adventist, and I doubt he ever will be officially, since I dont' know how they'll even get to church after we leave, but I know that this experience really touched his heart. Isn't it incredible that Jesus is still working, even when we're so old we can barely stay awake, or even hear the sermon. The whole experience was incredibly touching.

Sometimes its funny the way God uses us.

This valentines day I wanted to do something special for all the girls in my group. I came up with a very simple idea to write letters to each of the girls in cursive (since it looks more romantic) using bible verses and spirit of prophecy quotes. Then I would fold the paper up in a heart and secretly put them on their pillows right before we went out to work so when they got back they had a cute valentines note on their pillow waiting for them.
So I started to work on my idea, sneaking into the church's Primary class when it was unlocked and grabbing a stack of papers and a box of bright markers.
Everything went as planned, but with the limited amount of time I had, I was only getting about 2 done a day (since my cursive is so atrocious and took forever.) So the last day, valentines, i just put on a sermon for my devotions and whipped out the rest of the valentines. As I looked at all of them, my atrocious handwriting, and sometimes thoughtless hurried notes, I wondered if I should just not give it to them, since it was so sloppily done. Then I thought of all my work, and decided I should do it anyways. Hopefully someone would appreciate them.
One of the girls was sick that day so she stayed back. I asked her if she would distribute them for me. She put most of them on the pillows, but one of the girl's rooms was locked, so there were about 3 people that didn't get them that day. It was fun to see the girls come back and ooh and aah over their valentines, discussing who might have done it.
Several days later, Hadasa remembered the three other valentines, so she gave it to the girls that hadn't gotten them on valentines day.  God knows the perfect timing with these things. One of those girls came up to me later and thanked me saying she had just been praying and crying to God about why she was even at Souls. In my hasty, scribbled note, God had given her a direct answer to that question. I think I even wrote "God has brought you here to SOULS not only to ___, but also to ____."
Then last night another of those girls came up to me and also thanked me. She told me she was having a rough day out on the field, with a lot of mental anguish, and actually had her leader take her to a park to pray and think awhile. So she was there at that park, also crying out to God, when she remembered the heart note that Hadasa handed her that morning. So she took it out, unfolded it, and read it. In that note was also an answer to her prayers and a huge encouragement to what she was directly facing at the time. She said she bawled over that note and read it like 10 times.
I am so humbled.
This is not oh-look-at-what-I've-done. This was all God! I have absolutely no wisdom as to what those girls needed to hear at that time. Its just an encouragement to me to know that God is working through me. I want to be an open vessel for him to use at any time like that.
Praise the Lord!


Just a quick update on my life, I'm in Hemet, California (So Cal) doing a leadership practicum with Souls West. We're learning a lot about different aspects of leadership as well as a different style of canvassing at the doors. So next Sunday I'll actually be leading a magabook team for the first time. Yesterday, John and Christin Miller showed up without telling me. He is the literature ministries director for Washington, a good friend, and the one who might hire me as a Youth Rush leader, which is what I wanted this summer. So we talked about the possibilities of me being a leader, and I think based on what he said that there's a good chance. There's a catch, though. They need a kitchen head, not a head scribe. I've always been a scribe (the ones who count and record the money gotten each day.) So that would definitely be stretching and growing me. I'm not the best chef in the world...  Anyways, that is my life. Still lovin it!

Laressa

I finally figured out what God has been trying to teach me these last couple months . Sometimes I'm a slow learner. 

The last week of the NorCal blitz was really hard for me. It started on Sunday when I purposed in my heart to pray between every door. I prayed so hard that day, in front of nearly every door, while running in between doors, and even while talking to people. The whole day I only got 2 books out. For those of you who don't know, thats really bad! Still I wasn't discouraged. I was a little confused, but I had remained faithful till the last door and I was proud of that. The next day, I went out again and continued praying, expecting God to richly bless my faithful efforts. I got out a couple more books, but not nearly what I thought I should be getting or had been praying for. The rest of the week went in a similar fashion, till the last day I tried to pray, but thought, whats the point, nothing happened when I prayed this week. It was a very bitter ending to the blitz.

Now I'm doing a leadership practicum where we have different books and do a different door approach, which is hard to get used to after magabooking for so long. We'd been canvassing for three days and I still hadn't gotten a single book out yet. The morning of the fourth day, Anthony gave us a worship talk about patience. He showed how us how it means “cheerful endurance,” and how in the last days, those who will overcome and be saved through the time of trouble are those who cheerfully endure.

As I was thinking about that all that day, I suddenly thought of my experience in NorCal, and then about the Great Disappointment. God whispered to me, “After only a couple days of not seeing your prayers directly answered in the way you thought they should be, you got discouraged. Think of what the pioneers went through expecting and hoping me to come for not days, but months, and then being let down.” I then realized two things. One, that if I had gone through the Great Disappointment, I might have been one of the ones shaken out, and two, that if my faith and patience aren't strengthened, in the last days I will be shaken out. That was a very sobering thought. Oh Lord, have mercy! Praise God for showing us these things now! So I stopped right there and prayed “Jesus, even if I don't get a single book out this whole practicum, help me to be faithful to the very very end, not just the end of one day. Teach me patience and cheerful endurance. Lord, whatever it takes to refine my character, but please help me to learn fast so that I'm not hindering other people from getting the message through these books.”

Within an hour, my first book went out. Man of Peace =D

God is so faithful!

It's Friday, our day off. Where am I? The Berkeley SDA church, tiptoeing around because a non-christian clinic also uses the facility Monday through Friday. You know how hard it is for 17 young people to not talk loud, laugh, or generally make noise at all? Very hard. At nights when 17 tired but happy young people come back from a long day of canvassing is our time to kind of "get it out of our system."  Much merriment is made as they chatter about the experiences of the day. Sounds of... "So I met this lady who was a..." "Sold the prophecy set to a drug dealer." Things like, "Noooo waaaaay! That is CRAZY!" "PTL!" and  "God is so good!" echoes down the halls and through the bathrooms as 17 joyful christians prepare for bed.

I can't imagine a happier life.

When we got here a couple weeks ago, I made it clear that I wanted to see the Golden Gate bridge before I left the San Francisco area. Our director, Anthony, whom I love dearly, made it very clear that it is "just a bridge." What a melancholy thing to say! (When he was getting excited over some books that he was finding in the library I just had to say back "Its just a book, Anthony." I'm not sure he appreciated or understood my point of view.) Either way, last Friday while I was on kitchen prep for breakfast, two of my friends, Brooke and Daniela, came in, sat down, made me close my eyes and started telling me a story. "Once upon a time there was a little blond girl who really wanted to see the Golden Gate Bridge. Well one day, two girls walked into the kitchen and told her that she could see it. But there is one condition, and that is she will be excited when she sees it." Yaaaay! So they kidnapped me and a couple other girls and we got to go see and walk on the famous not-really-golden bridge, drive through China Town, and catch a glimpse of Alcatraz from the freeway.

I just love my friends!

Just yesterday I was canvassing this young teenager, and a car pulls up behind us out in the street. I glance over my shoulder and it wasn't Anthony, so I asked the guy if it was his mom or dad. It wasn't, so after I closed him, I went out to the street and looked in the car. There was a woman maybe in her 50s sitting there, talking on the phone. I waved to her, and she rolled down her window a tad. I asked "Do you live around here?"
"No," she replied, "I just stopped to call the post office really quick."
"Oh, interesting. So I'll be really quick. My name is Laressa, and I'm a student working on a scholarship. I'll let you take a look here," and I handed her our cookbook, Naturally Gourmet.
She looked through it and really liked the simplicity and layout of it. Then I asked her if she likes to read. She said no. I felt like pressing her a little though, so then I questioned if she ever reads her Bible. Looking me not quite in the eye, she said, "No, I guess I don't really, but I really should." I agreed with her. I told her the price range for the books, and she got out her wallet. I could see the struggle. She told me straight up, "I have the money, but I really don't want to spend my last $20." So she gave me a $5 instead.
I was disappointed but thought maybe this is what she really needs. "For that donation, I would love to give you this little book," and I handed her the little Steps to Christ.
She flipped through it, reading each chapter title. "'Peace' Oh I could use that! 'Freedom from Guilt.' wow, I better read that chapter too. 'Abiding Joy' Oooh thats a good one. 'Reaching your Full Potential' Man! all these chapters are soooo good! Everyone should read this book."
Again, I agreed. We were just kinda chatting, as I was getting reading to go, but then she asked if she could see the cookbook again. After looking at it again, she finally decided that she would get it anyways, so she gave me the $20. With that plus the $5 she gave earlier, she was able to actually get another book as well. I showed her the Man of Peace, which is a modern version of Desire of Ages. I showed her how she could read the Bible along with it, and it would just make the Bible simple and understandable. She LOVED that it was simple, and she could start being consistent with God. I suppose she felt bad about not reading her Bible, as one should. The Holy Spirit was working and convicting. Just before I left I told her if this wasn't God's divine timing, I don't know what is.
We said our goodbyes. I went to the next house and she drove off. Just like that. She wasn't there before I got there, or after I left. God put her there just in time.

You guys, God is SO good!